Jul 15, 2013

Why Would Cory Monteith Commit Suicide?

Cory MonteithCleopatra, Nero, Adolf Hitler, Vincent van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, John Belushi, Chris Farley and, yes, even Sigmund Freud fell victim to suicide.

Suicide is a topic of major concern all over the world and the recent death, and possible suicide, of actor Cory Monteith has brought it to the world’s attention on a large scale once again.  Because of the nature of suicide, the United Nations and the US have taken the following steps over that last two decades:

  • 1996: UN/WHO Prevention of Suicide: Guidelines for the Formulation and Implementation of National Strategies.
  • 2001: National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP) Obj. 2.2: By 2002, establish a public/private partnership (e.g., a national coordinating body) [to advance and coordinate] the implementation of the [NSSP].
  • 2002: Establish a public/private partnership (e.g., a national coordinating body) [to advance and coordinate] the implementation of the [NSSP].
  • 2010: Action Alliance launch by Secretaries of HHS/DoD.
  • 2012: Revised National Strategy for Suicide Prevention launched

Those that are considered High Risk Populations are: American Indian/Alaska Native, LGBT Populations, Military/Veterans, Suicide Attempt Survivors, Survivors of Suicide Loss.  But, suicide knows no boundaries in age, economic status, gender, or any other demographic.

In my practice, I don’t focus on the “why” of something happening, I focus on the “how”.  The reason is that “why” elicits reasons and excuses, whereas “how” seeks to find the strategy.  So, how do people decide to commit suicide?  It is an unnatural thought process that begins as an initial thought, such as:

  • I just want this pain (physical or emotional) to go away
  • No one is listening to me.  I can’t get their attention any other way.
  • I’m dying anyway and I want to be the one that chooses how and when I die
  • There is no hope that things will ever get better*

Once the thought comes to life inside the person’s mind, they begin to dwell on the thought.  By dwelling on the thought, energy and emotion give power to the thought.  The more they dwell on the thought, the more they feel it driving it faster and faster, giving it more and more power, as if it is being driven by centrifical force.  The images, feelings, sounds, smells, and tastes associated with the relief that they believe will come through suicide become more real than their current reality of pain, frustration, disillusionment, and other faulty rational.  And, because the human mind seeks to support any beliefs it has, it then deletes, distorts, and generalizes any information coming that may conflict with this thought so that there becomes no other way out.  This, then, eventually leads them to taking their own life.  In their mind, it has become the better choice.

Can these thoughts that lead to suicide be stopped and reversed?  The answer is a resounding “YES!”  You see, these thought patterns that lead to suicide are thought patterns that exist at various levels of our lives each and every day.  I call them mind loops.  Mind loops can be very beneficial.  For instance, if a person has a mind loop that runs the thought pattern of:

“When I think of my spouse, I get a good feeling inside my stomach.  When I get that good feeling inside my stomach, then I feel good all over.  When I feel good all over, then I want to do something nice for my spouse that makes them happy.”

Now, if situations come up over and over again that detract from the relationship, that loop can be diminished or even lost.  If a dramatic or traumatic event happens, such as infidelity, then it can be broken in a single moment.

The same is true of negative thought patterns that people use to become depressed, afraid, lack confidence and/or motivation, smoke, over eat, and many more areas of life, including suicide.  “When I think about my life, I get this sick feeling in my stomach.  When I get that sick feeling in my stomach, I see all the bad things that just keep happening in my life.  When I see all the bad things happening in my life, then I know they aren’t going to get any better.  When I know they aren’t going to get any better, then I feel a lot of pain all over my body and want to die.  Because, when I die, it will all be better.  I’ll have relief and won’t have to think about it anymore and I won’t have to feel the pain anymore…”

But, just as a positive mind loop can be broken over time, through repetition of negative things, or instantly through a dramatic ot traumatic event, negative mind loops can be broken, the same way.  Hypnosis and NLP are two tools that can effect the breaking of negative mind loops…and in a very short period of time.  It is the unconscious mind that enables the mind to create the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings.  You can go on a vacation in the Cayman Islands without leaving your couch.  You can make love to your significant other without them being there.  You can live the life you want, even if it’s only in your daydreams.  A person can create their own ‘living hell’ just as easily and the way they believe they will find relief from it.  Through hypnosis and NLP, not only can the negative mind loops be broken, but a great hypnotist will help them their clients create a positive mind loop to replace it.

We may never know if or how Cory Monteith decided to commit suicide.  We can help others, or ourselves, if we see the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness taking over by getting the help needed to get rid of the negative mind loops.

Creating life in forward motion.

Edward Lewellen

*There are other thought processes that can lead to suicide, such as being psychotic or accidentally going too far with a dangerous game, but the ones mentioned above are the more common thoughts that lead to suicide.