Feb 15, 2017

The Problem with Communication – Part V

(Before proceeding, if you haven’t already, I invite you to read the three previous posts in this series where you can find additional information on The Problems with Communication, Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV by clicking on each link.)

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a communication strategy that includes General Semantics, understanding how the five senses contribute to communication and how to integrate them into communication, and understanding how the human mind absorbs sub-communication.

Two of the most important points from NLP are:

If the reaction you receive isn’t the one you wanted, check to see what it was that you communicated!!!

The more trust there is, the more communication will be!

Many people ask, “Why don’t other people understand the world like I do?”

Modalities – the way people are hardwired to operate in life
65% – Visual (Talk fast, use lots of gestures)
Uses words, like the following: See, imagine, visualize, picture, looks good, let’s see, it looks
25% – Auditory (Talk at a moderate rate)
Uses words, like the following: Hear, listen, rings true, clear as a bell, crystal clear, what we talked about
10% – Kinesthetic (Speak slowly)
Uses words, like the following: Feels good, gives me a good vibe, gives me a bad feeling, I get the sense of it

The senses of smell and taste are used by 1%, or less, of the population as their Primary Modality, so they have not been included.

Sub-Modalities – granular uses of words and ideas





In time/Through Time

Once/Several Times


Let’s take Time as an example. People are either In-Time or going Through-Time. Most of the world perceives the world as going Through-Time. This means that they see the past as behind them and the future in ahead of them. Time is fluid and flowing. There are some Aboriginal Tribes that change the words they use based on where the sun is in the sky. Their sense is so sharp that they can tell where the sun is located even when they’re in pitch dark environments. People going Through-Time feel less of a sense of urgency. In-Time people, like most people in the U.S., see time from left to right and in demarcations or chunks. It is perceived that there is only so much time to be allotted for events, appointments, etc. so, then, it means they feel an urgency to be on time. Can you already understand how a person who lives life In-Time would find conflict with people who lives life going Through-Time? If an appointment is set, the In-Time person would probably be at least 5 minutes early and, if they’re not, they beat themselves up for being late. All the while the Through-Time person is nonchalantly going through their day and they show up for the appointment somewhere around the approximate time.

These sub-modalities are critically important for salespeople to understand about everyone who they interact with; spouse, kids, boss, prospects, clients, vendors, etc. because, the better they understand the Primary Modalities and Sub-Modalities of the people they work with, the better their communication, and sales, will be. How does one discover these? It’s as easy as asking open, non-important questions that get people to reveal how they process information. An example is; What was your favorite vacation like? Then, note the words they convey and the length of the description. These will give you the insights for which you’re looking.

NLP has some really cool tips, tools and techniques that I share during the upcoming seminar I’ll be hosting, such as, the story the eyes tell when a person is speaking and the one word that, when you change how you use it, will change your world!

In the next post in this series, Part VI, I’ll share the importance of Intent when speaking with others and tips on how to embed subconscious communication into everyday language. Whether you’re selling, leading people, or just want to get your point across to someone, these tools will be important for you to know. Part VII, the final post in the series, will discuss Lie Detection, so be on the lookout for the last two posts. In the meantime, I again invite the readers of my posts on The Problem with Communication to let me know what area of the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex you’re in. My goal is to choose a venue where it will be convenient for the most people to attend, so please give me feedback. This seminar is going to be awesome! You’ll learn much more about communication than what I’ve posted, you’ll get an opportunity to do some exercises to practice your new skills, and you’ll get to network with other outstanding business professionals before and after the event.

Change your thoughts. Change your life…quickly!

Please feel free to comment and share this post!

+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager