May 22, 2013

Extreme Sadness – How I Have Successfully Helped My Clients

When do you get extremely sad?  When you get sad? Bored? Things just aren’t going well?  When you think about it…it’s depressing!

Being extremely sad is a common emotion that humans elicit when things get overwhelming and our minds choose to not feel other emotions for a brief period of time.  Being in the medically defined state of “Depression” is different.  There are numerous definitions for depression available and here is one that I thought really captures the true essence of depression:

  • If he or she has become a completely different person. If six months ago, you were always having fun with your friend, and now he speaks in monosyllables and you can barely have a conversation without having a sense of his sadness, then chances are, he is suffering from depression and can’t channel his real self.
  • If the person feels generally sad and hopeless about everything in his or her life. If the person expresses no excitement when speaking about the future because he can’t believe that things will ever get better.
  • If the person never wants to do anything or go anywhere. If the person doesn’t want to leave the house or interact with others.
  • If the person has completely stopped caring about his appearance, proper grooming, or can’t remember the last time he showered.
  • If he used to be an active person and now spends most of his time sleeping or in bed.
  • If you can’t remember the last time your loved one laughed or said something positive.
  • If he is in a constant state of despair. (Source:

Most experts agree that if any of these symptoms persist for more than a couple of weeks, then the person is most likely in clinical depression.

As I’ve stated on this website and in other blogs before, I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, nor a medical doctor.  My 30 years of Life Coaching have led me through experiences that most people wouldn’t want to hear.  The depth of despair, hopelessness, and complete loss of the will to live that I have seen has provided much of my education on how to effectively work with people experiencing extreme sadness.  My education in hypnosis and NLP have given me tools that are absolutely amazingly quick and effective.  My background in theology and in spirituality has benefitted many people.  My pure and unadulterated belief that all people are innately good and that no one in my presence as a Life Coach is judged for any aspect of their life as being “Good” or “Bad” has produced enormous results.  I’m telling you this because I want you to know that what I am about to share with you has real substance even though these experiences go beyond what many people will tell you is possible.

My clients range from young adults to one that is over 90-years-old.  Most come in for my help because they haven’t been able to get it elsewhere, or the help has been minimal.  One of my more mature clients was extremely sad over several major events in life transpiring all at once and none of the changes happening seemed positive.  They were overwhelmed and feeling hopeless as to the prospects of any positive outcome.  In the first two sessions we discussed the events, how they came about, and we got to know each other.  Some of the people that come to me have never been to a Life Coach or counselor.  Because of this, it may take one or two sessions so that they are comfortable really opening up, which was the case with this person.  During the third session, I saw it was the appropriate time to induce hypnosis.  It was under hypnosis that this person found the “seed” event that had filtered through their life and was at the root of the extreme sadness that was seemingly caused by the current events.  Over the next few days and outside of my office, this person processed the old thought patterns that had been stuck in their unconscious for many, many years that were the real cause of this person being negative, self-deprecating, and holding on to this deep sense of hopelessness.  When this client came to their last session, they were transformed mentally, emotionally, and even physically and they are now on a course for achieving success!

Another client I worked with is a young man that repeatedly had suicidal thoughts and extreme sadness.  He had been in counseling for years.  He had built a protective wall around himself to keep people away because he believed he had been hurt by the people he loves the most many times.  He told me that his counselor was frustrated with him because he couldn’t get him into a stable frame of mind.  As we talked, he began to let down the protective walls.  He let go of a piece of information here and a piece of information there.  And, they began to add up.  When I felt the time was right, I induced trance.  During trance, I helped build a different protective wall, one that protected him from the hurts he had been experiencing and that he could implement anytime he needed it.  I helped him change his mind and rebuild and reinforced his self-ego and self-esteem.  Of course, he made made did much more to empower himself to be happy, as well.  When he was picked up by the person that brought him to me, they were amazed at the difference in such a short amount of time after he had been going for counseling for years!  I spoke to him a few days after his session and his tone of voice was one of excitement.  He told me that he was feeling great and that there had been things he wanted to do in the past that he now felt motivated to do because he felt so alive.  The change was amazing!

One last experience.  I had a client that was discharged from the Army eight years ago because of being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  He had been to sought help from many different sources during those eight years and told me was still experiencing PTSD symptoms.  In fact, his wife had recently filed for divorce because of it.  He told me hadn’t been happy for those eight years.  An hour later he was happy.  He couldn’t believe it!  He kept checking how he was feeling and then get a big smile on his face and tell me “No F*%king way!”  And, I would tell him, “It’s you.  You’ve changed. You’re the one that feels different.” And, then we repeated that back-and-forth a few times until he finally believed he was changed in just one hour…after years of searching for happiness.  Here’s the email he sent me later that day:

“Edward, Thank you very much for your awesome gift of helping people like me feel soooo much better about myself. God bless you abundantly from the bottom of my heart !”

If you, or someone you know is experiencing extreme sadness, and/or self-destructive thoughts, please find the resources you/they need right away.

Creating life in forward motion,

Edward Lewellen