Aug 31, 2015

Choose How You’ll Change!


Change is inevitable. While you read this post something around you is changing that you’re not aware of…yet. Many people want to believe they have control in their life and control is mostly an illusion. Think about it. Whether it’s something as simple as your plan of what you’ll eat for lunch or as complex as a 5-year business strategy for a 10,000 employee company, your limits of control are very finite. Every moment brings a variable over which you have no control.

So, what’s a person or an organization to do? I like what Tony Robbins says about the 6 Human Needs when he says that we have this need for stability and variety at the same time. How do we coalesce these needs? The first step is understanding that we humans are a dichotomy of our Core Identity and the Roles we play. Your Core Identity is who you are when you strip off all the roles you play in life. This is your touchstone if, and only if, you know your Core Identity. This is where your stability derives from. In working with people, I find that the vast majority don’t know who they really are in the Core Identity. They live so much in their roles that they believe that’s who they are.

  • They are a parent.
  • They are a spouse.
  • They are a salesperson.
  • They are a golfer.
  • They are an executive.
  • Here’s the problem with believing we are those things; roles are fluid and very changeable. Because roles are fluid and changeable, it causes people frustration and dissatisfaction when they expect to have stability in them. For example, you’re at your job and you get settled into a job, a position, with your company. After a while, you believe that you become that job. You identify yourself with it. You even say something like, “I am a ______”. Then, one day, you’re told that you are being given a new assignment and job. Your reaction to the change is probably one of fear and anxiety. Why? Because you have become the job you were doing. You identified with it so strongly and deeply that you are that.

    Please consider how different that scenario would be if you knew who you are in your Core Identity. First, your self-talk would be like this, “I am loving, loyal, fun, and kind. That’s who I am. In the role I play as a ______, my behaviors are (whatever the role requires).” So, when you’re told your role is changing, you only see it as a change in your behaviors, not an unsettling feeling that who you are is being required to change. Do you see how that is a totally different thought process and sensation you have now? This is how you can have stability and variety at the same time. Your Core Identity maintains the stability it needs while your roles experience the variety they need.

    This the key element to choosing how you’ll change. In my newest book, The 90-Second Mind Manager, I share this information and so much more that will give you the ability to take control of your beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors so that you can create the life you really want. I had the opportunity to share much of the book’s content, including >The 90-Second Mind Manager Process, with about 100 women leaders at Bell Helicopter’s Global Headquarters on 8/27/15. The feedback has been phenomenal! I want to take this opportunity to thank Bell Helicopter for the opportunity to present.

    I also want to thank Dr. Ali Anani for writing the Forward for The 90-Second Mind Manager. Dr. Anani travels the world speaking to international organizations and has been rated in the Top 5% Creative People in the World, so what an honor to have him be a part of the success of my book!

    If you would like your organization to understand The 90-Second Mind Manager Process and The 90-Second Mind Manager Global Initiative, please connect with me to set a time to get together soon!

    Dr. Edward Lewellen is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

    Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager