Jun 26, 2013

Are You Growing or Rotting?

If you aren’t changing and growing, then you’re dying! It just a fact of life. We see it in everything around us that is alive. This gives creedence to the saying, “The only thing constant is change.” If you feel that you haven’t changed for years, even months, then you probably wonder if there is something wrong. With few exceptions, staying the same causes people to feel as if the world is passing them by.

Think about a relationship you are, or were, in where one person didn’t ever seem to change and grow. Or, if they did, it was in a different direction than the other person. Either way, the relationship is/was doomed. This is why couples need to have shared goals and a direction they are both working toward. Here is a truism that relates to couples and growth: Women marry men thinking they can change them. Men marry women thinking that they won’t change. They’re both wrong! So, growth and change within a relationship needs to be with a common goal in mind so that the change is mutually beneficial. Otherwise, as they begin to see that they are growing apart, they then see all the little things that irritate them. I’ll call these “weeds”. Eventually, the “weeds” grow and it’s time to harvest them and then all hell breaks loose. This can be a one-time argument or, if there have been repeated “harvests” of the “weeds”, then it could be the end of the relationship. As you know, when the “weeds” take over, growth of the crop stops. But, when a couple has mutually beneficial goals they are working toward, then their relationship will fuel that growth and prevent the “weeds”. So, grow together for the long-term life of your relationship!

I have seen people that are unemployed or under-employed stop growing, too. Fully consider it. I have seen many people become unemployed and, at the beginning, they are determined that the next job is right around the corner. Then, six months, 12 months, and 2 years pass by. They become disheartened and almost lifeless. When they think to themselves, “Who would want to hire me?”, and, they are right! Who would want to hire a lifeless, defeated person? What company wants to hire a victim? The reason that they can become this way is because they have stopped growing. Again, just think about it carefully. The people that seek further education, that get involved in volunteer work, that get up each morning and prepare as if they had a job to go to are the people whose state of mind remains confident, active, and GROWING! It is the latter that will end up successfully employed, starting a business of their own, or in a situation they had never even considered. Why? Because they are growing, active and positive. The kind of people others want to have working for them or doing business with.

Beyond these two examples, each person should regularly evaluate whether they are green and growing or ripe and rotten. Do you have daily, weekly, monthly yearly, as well as, 5-year goals? One of the primary ways to keep growing is to set goals that make you stretch your limitations. When setting these goals, use the S.M.A.R.T. system:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Relevant
  • Time-Bound

If you would like help with these, let me know! But always KEEP GROWING!

Creating life in forward motion,

Dr. Edward Lewellen