Jul 14, 2017

Are You Feeling Stuck?

We all get stuck from time-to-time. Stuck in a relationship, in a job, in being overweight, in financial lack, in an unhealthy lifestyle, or simply in a way of doing something we wish would change. How does this happen? I mean, here we are more than half-way through 2017 and people have more choices and more options than ever before. How does a person get stuck with so many options and opportunities available to them?

Mind Loops and Auto-Pilot

This absolutely amazing thing that dwells within our skulls has built-in mechanisms to save energy. One of those mechanisms is its ability to generalize information. Have you ever noticed how your mind is always searching for meaning and what happens when it doesn’t find it immediately?

For instance, pay attention some day and tally the number of times you, or the people you’re around, say or think something about “meaning”. You might even be thinking right now, “What does he mean by that?” Exactly! We say and think things like, “I wonder what she meant?”, “What does that sign mean?”, “What meaning do those numbers have?”, “I wonder what he meant by that look he gave me?”, and so on. What the mind is doing is creating these great things called “mind-loops”.

​​​Mind-loops are if/then statements so that the mind doesn’t have to fully consider things after we’ve given them meaning. If you get in your car, then you automatically start it up and drive away with little, if any, conscious thought. If you see your boss make a certain face, then you automatically go the other way. If you get stressed, then you automatically eat/smoke/use drugs/drink alcohol. Get the idea? Once these loops are set, then the mind goes on auto-pilot and doesn’t question the meaning of the loop again. This is how a person gets stuck.

Why is getting unstuck so hard to do?

Simple. It’s the easier way to live. Getting unstuck can be extremely difficult. Just ask anyone that is hooked on cigarettes, drugs, sex, food, or any number of addictions. Just ask anyone that keeps getting into relationships that are unhealthy. Ask anyone that gets depressed. Ask anyone who suffers from fears, phobias, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. No matter how ridiculous it may seem to others, the person that’s stuck in a negative mind loop has an uphill battle to fight. Even when the mind-loop is detrimental, a person may unconsciously hold onto it because it’s what’s become familiar. Virginia Satir, a highly regarded family psychologist said, “Most people think the will to survive is the strongest instinct. It isn’t. The will to keep everything the same is our strongest instinct.”

For instance, a person can be suffering from all the symptoms of depression, yet, be unwilling to take the necessary steps to get rid of it. Or, they may even take all of the steps, but they don’t work for them. How does this happen? The person has become familiar with everything associated with depression and has developed coping mechanisms. Some, not all, have learned to use their symptoms to keep them from responsibilities in life and receive special attention. Psychologists call this Secondary Gain. People find benefit within their pain, such as, not having to do things they don’t want, receiving attention they wouldn’t otherwise get, etc.

One of my clients had a disease with disabling pain. When her pain was gone, she felt a massive amount of relief. A few days later she called me telling me her pain had returned and it was even worse than before. I asked her what happened between the time she left my office and the time when the pain returned. She explained that her husband was so excited for her to be without pain and then started to recount all the things she could now do, like; take the kids to school, go grocery shopping, take care of cleaning the home, etc. Suddenly, her pain returned. That’s Secondary Gain, the perceived benefits of being stuck in something that’s negative overriding the potential for the positive. Most people don’t consciously plan this behavior, it’s an unconscious belief system taking over.

How does a person get unstuck?

Picture a balloon. You start putting air into it and it slowly fills. It becomes full and you keep putting more air in. It stretches and stretches and finally…it POPS!!! That is one way to get unstuck from a negative mind loop. For instance, if a person is a yo-yo dieter and they only allow themselves to get up to 175 lbs before they diet back down, I’ll instruct them to go to 200 lbs before they diet back down. Why? Just like the balloon, when they look so overweight and they can’t stand the sight of themselves is when the “balloon” pops. They never want to look that way again and so they keep the weight off. Take the weight to an extreme and the person will come to hate what was once pleasurable. This is what the very successful people in life do naturally. They quickly get sick of the things that hold them back in life and get rid of them just as quickly. This is just one, of many ways, people can become unstuck.

What if you haven’t been able to become unstuck on your own?

Using Dynamic Visualization, I get people unstuck. I help people get unstuck by breaking the negative mind loops they have running and replace those with positive mind loops. Imagine yourself doing things that create success in your life just as easily as you do the things you wish you could get rid of. If you smoke “automatically” each day, imagine “automatically” being free from stress and addiction and being able to naturally focus on the things that bring you success personally and professionally. If you go into auto-pilot and just start eating for no apparent reason, imagine just as easily and naturally doing the things that make you the person you want to be “for no apparent reason”. If you’re in another bad relationship, suppose you could be free of that relationship and find your next one to be fulfilling. Suppose that job you dread going to each day could be transformed to be the delight of your career. And, what if you could make all the changes you want and start living the life of your dreams?

If you want to remove the dysfunction you may be feeling in your life and have the keys to happiness and fulfillment, then getting unstuck is a great place to start! I’ve created a webinar that I’ll soon be sharing titled, Life Mastery: The Fully Functional Life. This webinar will cover the major areas in life that people search most often when looking for self-improvement; weight loss, healthy lifestyle, financial security, relationships, professional development, and service to others.

Be on the lookout for upcoming information about this exciting webinar!

Also, request my Special Report The Ultimate Business Trifecta today: http://trans-think.com/UltimateBusinessTrifecta

Please feel free to comment and share this post. And, if you would like to learn more, contact me TODAY!

+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++

Dr. Edward Lewellen is an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager